Trembling, she pulled his picture from under her pillow, a nightly ritual she had since abandoned. It had been 30 days since she last looked at his face, the longest span yet. She had gone two weeks before, but gave in to the craving to see his eyes, to clear her mind and relive what she no longer had. She had been so addicted to him, to his smile, to the way their bodies felt while wearing nothing but the shadows. She fell in love with him, hesitantly, but instantly. Whether it was her feeling not ready or him not being right for her, it didn't matter. Once she opened her heart for him the flood of emotion was too intense to deny and she fell fast and hard. He too had fallen and they were happy in love. Every time she heard her heartbeat she knew it was beating only for him.
Their ending was typical of two people wanting to love without knowing how. Neither wanted to be the one to leave. Tied by the remnants of love they danced together in awkward rhythm, going back and forth between love and loathing until at last they were torn apart. Then began the nightly ritual to satisfy her addiction.
Tears formed in the corners of her eyes as her fingertips graced the smooth paper of the photo. She had forgotten the subtle hints of green in his eyes and the way his hair curled as it grew longer. She stared, hoping to pull emotion from his gaze, craving for something to replace the hollow he had left her with. Emptiness was all that remained; she had nothing left of him in her mind. The memories had settled and she finally cried.
Her tears came slowly, tickling her cheeks as they fell and for the first time in a month she opened her mouth to speak, to say the three words she longed to hear from him again. But as she parted her lips to speak she became fully aware of the moment she was living, finally ready to release him from her mind, from her heart.
"I," she paused, afraid of the words forming in her mind. "I don't love you anymore," she sobbed as she repeated the phrase several times. "I'm sorry." Heavy tears soaked through the photo, washing away all remnants of love left. As quickly as she had fallen into love, she had now fallen out of it and for the first time in months she could hear her heart beating, but this time it beat only for her.
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