I feel broken, shattered. I built so much of who I am out of
who he said I was. Sometimes I stare at my reflection and all I can see are the
missing pieces that he took with him. I’ve spent enough time trying to find
those missing pieces in other people, alcohol, and money that I’ve realized
that those missing pieces aren’t meant to come from someone else. Some say that
one will come along and hug me so tightly that all my broken pieces will fit
back together, but I think I’ll let the broken pieces stay broken and build
something new from what’s left. I couldn’t go back to the person I was. It’s
impossible to erase the experiences and changes I’ve gone through, and it’s
those changes that will become the stronger foundation for the new person I’m becoming.
Right now I’m not okay, but soon I’ll be able to stand up
and firmly say I am who I am because I’ve loved and felt the sting of the loss
that often comes with giving yourself completely to someone who decided to walk
away.
I wonder if the weaker parts of us crumble so we’re forced
to build ourselves up with something stronger.
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