Sexy Selfies

This is something I’ve wanted to bring up several times and it’s very relevant to this group. I get a lot of shit for taking the pics that I take and posting them here in the group and/or other groups and I wanted to clarify some things. I’ve had people assume that I’m taking them to gain “validation”, that I want attention/sex/love, and by taking pics like that I’m devaluing myself and making me look stupid.

First of all I want to clarify, I’m not taking these pictures for you, I’m taking them for me. I’m confident enough that someone else’s opinion of what I look like doesn’t matter to me nor do I add any value to it. Do I like the compliments and attention I get from the pictures? Sure, but I don’t feed my confidence through it. I post because I’m proud of what I have, not because I want YOU to be proud of what I have. Sexiness can be “validated”  in so many other ways, why do we have to assume the only approval we’re getting is from sexy pictures?

I truly don’t understand how taking a seductive picture of myself makes me unintelligent. I’m currently in school right now, working toward a 6 year degree in social work. I’ve studied human behavior and seduction since I was 14. I know just as much as you in some areas and less than you in others. How could anyone possibly gauge my intelligence from a picture, and who in their right mind is shallow enough to admit they do that? Here’s a logical fallacy, I put my brain out in public and that means I’m proud of it, I put my body out in public and that means I’m insecure? Why can’t showing my body mean I’m proud of it?

I’ve also had people question my self-confidence, self-esteem and level of insecurity. Some  women may take and share their pictures for this reason, but to assume every person is taking and sharing these pictures for the same reason is narrow-minded and ignorant. No one truly knows another persons motivations for doing anything, including taking various types of selfies. More importantly, even if we do know their motivations, who cares? It is THEIR life, their story, their journey and they can do as THEY feels suits them. Your value system and moral fabric are not the same as mine, and mine doesn’t match anyone else’s. This dichotomous thinking that so many of us use is so limiting. I refuse to stay in the black and white and find it more comfortable in the grey area where the only person’s judgements I add any weight to are my own.

 

If you don’t like that type of photography why are you in a group that promotes it? Is it your own insecurity that causes your indifference toward it?

Shadows

It always starts with a slight change in temperature, as if he's walked into cool breeze during mid day when the sun is at its highest. The little hairs on his neck dance, sending a cold shiver through his body. On occasion the sound of rustling leaves will send whispers of secrets she long kept from him to his ears. He can always sense her presence. She's never long gone, merely hiding in the shadows of familiar places they frequented together.

She left him on a perfect summer day. He never knew why and she couldn't give him a reason. Their ending was like a sudden microburst running through a dry gulley. It stirred up everything he kept still in his heart. He never knew he had that much to lose and while he scrambled to settle the dust he lost sight of her.

Days after they buried her he noticed he spent more time looking at her pictures than he ever spent looking into her eyes. They looked so empty there, frozen in time. She always had this questioning look on her face as if she blamed him. It was probably his guilt playing tricks on him.

She was innocent and beautiful and it was his influence that brought her to the time and place that would end her. He felt so alive, the chemicals racing through his blood awakened his mind in ways he never thought possible. He brought that to her, but she lacked self control and soon it controlled her. Or maybe it was him, maybe he held the control all this time.

The chemicals, the colors taking over her thoughts, the overwhelming physical sensations, and the false confidence; it all ruined her. It ruined him too, but in a way he couldn't see until his reason for living was taken. Her heartbeat stilled and that day his world stopped. He always felt so alone, but he wasn't. When she left, she left her shadow and it haunts him even now.